1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer (#14)

Duende Assassino: A Maldição | Leprechaun: In The Hood | EUA | 2000
" “The horror scenes are completely scare-free, and even the gore is extremely tame! There are a few simply awful attempts at comedy, such as when our heroes dress up as women to sneak into a hotel… There's also a rap sequence at the end in which we are treated to the finest cinematic musical number by an inhuman creature since Howard the Duck.” [F]"

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #13

Captain Battle: Legacy War | EUA | 2013
"This is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. The trouble is, where to begin... Well, it starts out with a "high speed pursuit on dirt roads" that in reality is cars going 10 mph, over a field, with BADLY(I could make more realistic flames with MS Paint) made computer animated muzzle flashes coming out of pistols and assault rifles. Next up is a "bazooka" like device that you could actually see straight through before it fired, topping it off with an explosion that basically is a car, with badly made computer animated flames superimposed over it. [F]"

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #12

For Y'ur Height Only | Filipinas | 1981
"Is a film about a midget James Bond — he’s called 00, and he means biz just as much as any Moore or Connery — any more ‘exploitative’ than a dumb audience pandering rom-com? If so, who does it exploit? Everyone, probably. Certainly there is an overarching sense of wrongness that hovers like dark celluloid matter over the film’s amusingly stodgy action scenes, in which our vertically challenged hero defeats villain after villain mostly by kicking them in the nads or jumping on them from high places. [F]"

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #11

Heartbeeps | Estados Unidos da América | 1981
"Heartbeeps is a three-minute television sketch stretched to last nearly 90 unbearable minutes and fitted out with enough futuristic hardware to stock a short trailer for a science-fiction film."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #10

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal | Estados Unidos da América | 2001
"Who are the people responsible for this? Who is trying to punish us with this piece of crap? I have to thank that channel I saw this movie on for showing it even before it went to video because if I had paid for this I would have bombed both the video store and the filmmakers. "Turbulence 3" is the idiotic story of a Heavy Metal band performing live -through the Internet- from an airplane and some awfully stupid hijackers who try to make the plane crash in a church. The lead singer of the band, who looked pretty similar to Marilyn Manson, gets knocked off and tied up by a guy who looks exactly like him, a member of a Satanic cult who is trying to crash the plane in Kansas, and all the blame would be put on Slade Craven, the singer."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #9

Burn Hollywood Burn | Estados Unidos da América | 1997
"'Burn Hollywood Burn' is a spectacularly bad film - incompetent, unfunny, ill-conceived, badly executed, lamely written, and acted by people who look trapped in the headlights."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #8

The Room | Estados Unidos da América | 2003
"To say The Room is a “bad” film is like saying that the Grand Canyon is big or the sun is hot. It’s just almost impossible to find the right words to encompass the sheer awesomeness of the phenomenon. Saying that The Room is the worst film of all time comes a little closer, but still doesn’t even begin to crack the surface."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #7

Killdozer | Estados Unidos da América | 1974
"This one never hit theaters; it was made for ABC Television. But its cult reveres it mostly because of its idiotic premise (and admittedly amazing title, complete with superfluous exclamation point). And what a Grade A idiot premise it is: a meteorite with strange powers lands on Earth. When a work crew tries to move it with a bulldozer, the heavy shoveling equipment is possessed by the alien boulder’s power and goes on a killing rampage. And then it just dissipates. Biggest disappointment: thanks to its TV movie status there was never a cool poster created to trumpet its arrival on the junk culture scrapheap."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #6

Glitter | Estados Unidos da América | 2001
"If the story isn't bad enough, the acting is even worse. The only conclusion I can reach is that it was a conscious decision made in order to distract people from the script. Mariah's idea of acting consists of opening her eyes as wide as she can and delivering her lines with an emotion and depth usually only heard during dinnertime telemarketing calls. The rest of the cast is just as bad if not worse. I mean, we know that Mariah got the part because of who she is, but what about the others? Were there even auditions or did someone randomly pick people out of league night at the local bowling alley and give them parts? I've seen better acting on public access. Glitter is simply not worth seeing. Not even to impress your buddies or to cash in on irony points. Without a doubt, it's the worst movie I've ever seen, making Dirty Work look like Lawrence of Arabia. Just stay away. And if people mention it to you, pretend it doesn't exist."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #5

Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 | Estados Unidos da América | 2000
"In this inept futuristic epic adapted from the novel by sci-fi author and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, a greedy security chief (the ridiculous looking John Travolta) enslaves prisoners to mine gold for him. When it was released, "Battlefield Earth" became an instant camp classic -- think "Showgirls" in outer space. The New York Times said, "'Battlefield Earth' is the worst movie of this century. Sitting through it is like watching the most expensively mounted high school play of all time. It is beyond conventional criticism."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #4

Going Overboard | Estados Unidos da América | 1989
"Shecky Moskowitz, a deservedly struggling young comedian, lands a menial job on a cruise ship as the Miss-Universe contest is being held on-board. The Big Man On Deck for this voyage is Dickie Diamond, the ship's comedian and all-around ladies' man. As an assorted array of thugs, Panamanian mercenaries and terrorists try to storm the ship, Shecky hopes for one big chance to prove himself and enter the exciting world of cruise ship comedy."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #3

Mac and Me | Estados Unidos da América | 1988
"A wheelchair-bound boy helps to reunite an earthbound alien with its extraterrestrial family in this shameless rip-off of Steven Spielberg's ET. Separated from his parents shortly after arriving on planet Earth, a Mysterious Alien Creature (MAC) quickly strikes up a friendship with lonely Eric Cruise (former Easter Seals spokesman Jade Calegory). New to town and in need of a pal after losing his father, Eric discovers just how amazing the universe can be when mischievous MAC takes him on the adventure of a lifetime."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #2

Bio-Dome | Estados Unidos da América | 1996
"Basically two stoners wonder into a "bio-dome" thinking it's a mall. The "bio-dome" closes shut and now five scientists have to deal with Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin for an entire year."

1001 filmes para NÃO ver antes de morrer #1

Invasion of Alien Bikini | Coreia do Sul | 2011
"Young-gun saves a young lady from assailants and brings her into his house. She is an alien which needs sperms to breed and seduces Young-gun to get his sperms. However, Young-gun has taken a vow of chastity to keep his virginity until his marriage. She exhausts every means of gaining his sperms."