Knock Off (1998)

Surely it was a Tsui Hark knock off who made this terrible wreck of atrocious acting - Paul Sorvino looked like Marlon Brando next to Van Damme and Rob Schneider - and dreadful cinematography - all kinds of camera angles, from feet to gun barrels, superfast blurred zooms and split screens through small rectangles out of nowhere. Pumma sneakers - yap, double m -, midgets, Rob Schneider being the usual Rob Schneider even with a serious CIA badge and goofy fashion counterfeiter Van Damme suddenly transformed into a martial arts war machine without any kind of justification. Tried to be funny for most of the time... but failed miserably.

The Steal (1995)

I don't know what was worse: Heathcote Williams hair or his acting. Supergirl supercute playing a premature Angela Bennett looking like prime Linda Hamilton, Alfred Molina in his early kind of sexy forties being a tech illiterate with fake Fidel Castro beard over his real beard and Stephen Fry in a small role as an investment manager. Almost sure you couldn't eat in a Michelin star restaurant with this movie's budget, and maybe that's why the promised british bondage parties were never delivered!

Nas Nalgas do Mandarim - S09E18

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Idiosyncratic blend of humor, loneliness, and despair. Isolation and existentialism, friendship and loss in that classic seemingly effortless Martin McDonagh way, managing to make us laugh even when we're supposed to cry and be shocked. McDonagh is a master of his craft and here cinematography and music are just as impressive as the acting. Nothing prepares us for so many unforgettable twists and surprises that keep us constantly on the edge of our seat, so just grab a feckin pint of Guinness, sit back, and enjoy one of the cheekiest movies of the past few years. Sláinte!

The Nice Guys (2016)

It's Boogie Nights Redux, a terrible mess during the first two acts - setup and confrontation - with Shane Black's usual rapid-fire wisecracks not being good enough to save this Shitty Shitty Bang Bang from intermittent dullness and its convoluted plot. Didn't buy Gosling and Crowe's chemistry - unlike Downey Jr. with Val Kilmer or Gibson with Glover in Black's similar tone masterpieces - and let's please do not talk about how stupid were most of the secondary roles - especially Kim Basinger. And how on earth was Gosling's drunk private eye able to get custody of his thirteen year old daughter?

Now do the one about Nokia 3310!

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

"Everything Everywhere All at Once" is a mind-bending, genre-bending, reality-bending cinematic experience, a rare gem that comes along only once every few years. It is an audacious, ridiculous and original film that showcases technical brilliance in every scene, a unique and immersive feature that nails multiverse with confidence and admirable absurdity. It's funnier than any comedy from the past few years and finds heart, creativity and energy in everything - and everywhere, all at once -, from plain rocks to a freaking Ratatouille look-alike. Thrilling, existential, heartfelt. Let me just disagree a little bit with most of you: though Michelle Yeoh is nothing short of tremendous, it's "Short Round" that really stole the show for me; he goes effortlessly from a cheesy dad to a cool action hero in the blink of an eye. Love James Hong, what a remarkable performance to remember him for ages!

She’s All That (1999)

I had to figure out why my podcast fellow Miguel Ferreira remembered this so fondly. I didn't, and the only explanation I can assume is his long lasting fetish for three name actresses. Yap, Rachael Leigh Cook manages to play both the grumpy and the sweet girl, and she's just so darn cute doing it that you can't help but to fall in love with her. As for the movie, it's as cliched as it gets, full of cringey dialogues and misogynistic moments. Lovely secondary roles from Kevin Pollak and Kieran Culkin. As for Matthew Lillard, did he ever played a character that wasn't a dork? Random trivia: M. Night Shyamalan supposedly ghostwrote the script.

Ryan Reynolds Netflix movie @ Apple

Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

"Drop Dead Gorgeous" is a witty and biting satire that takes a critical look at the beauty pageant industry. Presented as a fake MTV-like documentary, we dive in the shallow and stereotypical nature of the pageant contestants and judges... until the dark and twisted plot kicks off with one of the girls being blown up in a tractor. Had a lot of belly laughs, whether from the "I'm not a pervert" pervert judge or from the alcoholic mother with a beer can melted into her hand after a fire. A lot of colorful, absurd and amusing characters and dialogues in a movie that is certainly often overlooked for looking like just another regular teen comedy. Worth a watch!

Murder by Death (1976)

"Murder by Death" is a comedic gem written by the legendary Neil Simon, a true cinematic spoof of literary whodunits that will leave you chuckling long after the credits roll. The plot is deliciously exaggerated, the set is beautifully designed - the furnishings for the mansion, according to set decorator Marvin March, were valued at more than twenty five million dollars - and it's just a pity that the entire mystery behind the exquisite jokes and laughs get too messy and confusing in the third and final act; so many false identities that it became a Scooby-Doo episode. Three Oscar winners (Guinness, Niven and Maggie Smith) and six Oscar nominees led by the magnanimous Peter Sellers in a super all-star cast that introduced the literary legend Truman Capote to the world as an actor.

Ice Merchants @ VHS

Wind River (2017)

"Wind River" is an impeccably made, highly atmospheric, and well-balanced film, with a stunning yet desolate scenery and beautiful cinematography. Debutant director Taylor Sheridan proves himself to be as good a director as he is a writer, handling tension and pathos with a near-perfect balance. The film is based on actual events, and the grueling location shoot was filmed in real blizzardy conditions, which adds to its authenticity. An American Scandi-noir that ends up as a visceral and violent revenge movie. Made me want to revisit Nolan's "Insomnia".

Biloxi Blues (1988)

"Biloxi Blues" is a captivating movie that draws the viewer into the lives of a group of young men who find themselves thrust into military life during World War II. Neil Simon's writing is sharp and poignant, with keen observations about life, love and war. Despite being classified by many as a comedy, i found the film to work better as a serious drama, as it dealt with important themes like racism, anti-Semitism and homophobia. The cast is great, the chemistry between the actors is palpable, but I have to highlight Christopher Walken as he shines above all others - Broderick included - in his role as a sergeant. A must-watch that is much better than it's often given credit for and, while it may not break new ground, it's easily one of the most interesting lighthearted looks into mid-century military life. And that scene near the end where Walken is drunk with a gun... phenomenal.

Dad Niro

Carlito’s Way (1993)

What a masterpiece. A thrilling and compelling story that is flawlessly executed, one of De Palma's most undervalued works as a director. Incredible set pieces, notably the snooker sequence and the entire Grand Central Station chase, which are among the best in any of his films. Spot on pacing and top-notch acting from Pacino and Penn. The blaring music, terrific camera moves and the way the story plays out are pure magic. In the "De Palma" documentary, he claimed that he could not make a better film than "Carlito's Way"; i can see why he feels that way. An unforgettable cinematic experience that deserves to be celebrated as one of the greatest gangster films of all time. Just say hello to my lawyer's friend!

Sorcerer (1977)

"Sorcerer" is ambitious as hell but rarely finds its footing. Friedkin is a skilled director who knows how to build tension, and the treacherous drive over the bridge during a storm is a standout sequence that alone cost two million dollars and took three months to shoot. While the title and trailer suggest a supernatural theme, it is actually a mob movie and a kind of action thriller rolled into one big overwhelming mess. Good luck not getting lost or bored with it at some point even if, ultimately, it does indeed deliver a tense and exciting ride.

They can't all die first...

Rolling Thunder (1977)

John Flynn emphasizes realism above all else with a script that keeps us engaged. What makes Rolling Thunder so effective is its portrayal of Vietnam veterans trying to adjust to a world that is no longer familiar to them, making it more than just a simple revenge plot. William Devane's performance as Major Charles Rane is particularly noteworthy, as he brings subtlety to the role, conveying emotions through small gestures and facial expressions, saying a lot without speaking a word most of the times. The revenge plot is also portrayed in a minimalist style, with an excellent screenplay from Paul Schrader that builds up suspense and drama to a climactic and violent finale. Intense, brutal, with Linda Haynes providing a welcome distraction between all the darkness. One of Tarantino's favorites, an absolute powerhouse that shouldn't be missed.

The Fabelmans (2022)

Almost everyone treating this as a semi-autobiographical movie about the magic of movies. I felt it differently, with the constant impression that the most important thing that Spielberg wanted to show us was how he grew up in a broken and complex family dynamic, manifesting regrets the way he dealt with it. It works beautifully everytime it escapes from that dynamic - the trains, the Christian girlfriend, the bullies, his homemade movies, the majestic final scene with the best cameo ever -, but looked pretty much artificial and weird inside of it. Maybe because i couldn't buy Paul Dano and Michelle Williams playing a middle-aged couple, maybe because Seth Rogen was awful as usual or maybe just because i couldn't buy Spielberg's Sam having abs instead of being an awkward nerd as old photographs of Spielberg show. Either way, wonderful score from John Williams and you can really feel how much this movie meant to Spielberg. And that's enough to love it. By the way, can we now have a movie about Uncle Boris? Judd Hirsch is prodigious.

Punk Rock & Vietnam

The Death of Dick Long (2019)

It's A24's Fargo with a touch of Pink Freud and Cicciolina. It feels unique, and even with some character and rhythm flaws, it works really well as a serene blend of genres. And I bet you didn't know this is actually based on a true story - just google Kenneth Pinyan.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Most of the jokes are great - Professor X meets Mr Monopoly, the backstage pass to Limp Bizkit or the one with Vin Diesel and The Rock as a punchline among the wittiest -, all the CGI related to Sonic, Knuckles and Tails is absolutely flawless - who would have said after that infamous initial trailer for the first movie -, Natasha Rothwell was hysterically funny and Jim Carrey did clearly enjoy playing Robotnik on evil ecstasy. A bunch of game related homages - Sonic loosing the rings, Tails flying a red aeroplane or those lovely end credits - and the promise of a third movie with Shadow as the antagonist. All good except that Transformeresque third act with a bit too much computer animated boring fighting against the Giant Eggman. Just give us more of Sonic talking and less of him brawling.

1ª Vez 16mm @ Sala Azul

Christine (1983)

I know this sounds crazy, but "Christine" is actually my favorite Carpenter. Underrated at so many levels, it's a possession movie as much as a coming of age story. It's not scary - nor meant to be -, but does an awesome job in building up all its horror elements together with an amazing performance by Keith Gordon, believable not only as a goon but also throughout the various stages of his growing obsession with Christine. Love the soundtrack - so many Rock n' Roll oldies - and just wished all the deaths could have been a little more "explicit".

True Spirit (2023)

It's the most Netflix movie Netflix ever made. Based on the incredible true story of Jessica Watson, one i found out some years ago watching the then unknown documentary 210 Days – Around The World With Jessica Watson. I bet/hope that a lot of people will discover it now. PS: If you're wondering, Ben Bryant is a fictional character - remember, the most Netflix movie Netflix ever made - inspired by a whole team of people who helped Jessica train and prepare for the trip.

The Pie Fight Ending of Dr. Strangelove

The Replacement Killers (1998)

Antoine Fuqua is no John Woo, but Chow Yun-fat is so amazing in all his action scenes that he almost made Fuqua go through passport control as an asian director. Great sliding scene below a car stopped with a gun against the floor, upside down freaking cool shot of a dying cop, a movie theater shootout, sexy tear in the eye Mira Sorvino and Danny Trejo with an all stretched soft face without a single wrinkle - except in his last scene. Now that's some great special effects. And yes, I wasn't ready for Michael Rooker playing a good guy.

Alien³ (1992)

According to an ancient legend, the production of Alien³ was so chaotic that at one point, David Fincher was denied permission by the film's producers to shoot a crucial scene in the infirmary between Ripley and the Alien. That's how messy the final outcome was. Terrible VFX, making this look older and more dated than the original Alien in the late seventies. Saved only by the brave, iconic and heroic finale.

Ator @ VHS

Darkest Hour (2017)

Winston Churchill is definitely one of the most intriguing and riveting political characters of the last century and Gary Oldman give us an outstanding performance in his shoes. That being said, Joe Wright's movie could hardly be more unexciting and monotonous. No point whatsoever in Lily James character and wasteful underexploitation of his relationship with Clementine Churchill. Reports have been given that Oldman's back is still in pain of carrying this movie everywhere in 2017/8.

Pamela, A Love Story (2023)

So Stallone offered Pam "a condo and a Porsche" in exchange for her to become his "No. 1 girl". You naughty Rambo. My 90's were all about her, from Baywatch to V.I.P., that tunnel sex scene in Raw Justice to her "Word Up" intro in Barb Wire, hidden Playboy magazines in my school backpack to the infamous sex tapes that took days to download on ISDN internet connections. Duplicate downloads, as my father was just as interested as i was. Long live Pam, will always remember her fondly!